21 years of motherhood (condensed obviously)

A tribute to Dan and his mentors

On the eve of Daniel’s 21^st birthday I have been picking out some of my favourite photos to share in celebration of the day. A milestone for me as a mother as well as for him, I have been reflecting on his birth, childhood, teenage years and journey into adulthood at university.

Twenty one years ago tonight, Brad and I were watching Cracker when I finally managed to persuade him that actually I didn’t think I could wait until the end of the episode to head to Airedale! Having had a false alarm trip earlier in the week – thanks to raspberry leaf tea induced Braxton Hicks – he seemed more interested in Robbie Coltrane’s antics at that point!

Naively I had said that I wanted an entireIy natural labour. I was, of course, soon demanding everything they had. I found having my ears pierced as a teenager excruciating, so how I ever thought I could deliver a 6lb 14oz baby unaided seems completely ludicrous now! The TENS machine was completely useless, pethidine just made me high and I hardly remember the gas and air. Finally the scorned epidural arrived after what seemed like an eternity because I hadn’t ‘booked it’ on my birth plan!

Eventually Daniel put in an appearance at around 11am the following morning, Friday 14^th October 1994; healthy and perfect in every way.  Every parent knows that overwhelming love and realisation that the centre of your universe has just shifted forever.

We have many people to thank for their help in Dan turning out to be the young man that he is.  Mary Wilkinson was much more than a childminder in those early years.  With one set of grandparents in America and the others trying to sell their house in Northampton for two years before they could move to join us in God’s own county, Mary really was a surrogate grandma. She bore the brunt of his daily upbringing from potty training to sharing while Brad and I were out earning to keep him in Brio.

His Nana and Grandpa, once they finally landed in Silsden, have been a rock for him, providing security and stability through the unsettling period of Brad and I separating (mea culpa) which might otherwise have derailed him at the vulnerable age of 11. They are besotted with him and their love is returned with absolute devotion from Dan.

Despite no personal parenting experience Mark stepped into the breach and has been a great step-father figure to him; mostly responsible for feeding Dan but also  providing intelligent male conversation and even managing to amuse him occasionally in-between embarrassing him.

Helen Jarvis was a hard taskmaster but great Headmistress at Threshfield School, keeping him on the straight and narrow and giving him the chance to shine. With a bit of tuition help we were proud that Dan scraped through the 11+ and made it to Ermysteds Grammar School which cemented a sound education and a happy one.

Of course, no piece about Dan could fail to feature sport, in particular football and the huge influence it has on his life. With a genetic talent for the game from his Grandpa, it has been his passion from the age of five when Michael Owen’s Soccer Skills captured his heart and so a Liverpool fan was born.

Alastair Binns’ steadfast coaching of Grassington Juniors AFC allowed Dan to develop as a team player where he loved every minute of playing in defence for the team year after year. He’s now Club Captain of Staffordshire University football team.  I won’t get to see him on his 21^st tomorrow as they have their first game of the season away at Coventry. After so many years embarrassing him with my pitch-side shouting I am no longer required as a chauffeur and sadly not invited!

After work experience at Fresh Radio with Julian Hotchkiss, David Adams from Drystone Radio gave Dan the opportunity to combine his love of sport with a new interest in radio and for three years Dan travelled to Cowling on most Saturday afternoons to present the sport show. There is no doubt it was a key factor in Dan securing his place at Staffordshire University studying for a BA in Broadcast Journalism.

Rita and Phil from The Foresters Arms have provided a wonderful environment for Dan to learn life skills as well as a good income which has kept him self-sufficient in everything from school dinner money and bus-fare to holidays and football boots since he turned 14. They have kept him out of trouble and helped him develop social skills and responsibility as he’s worked up from pot-washing and cleaning, through waiting-on to pulling pints and even locking up. Unfortunately these have not proved to be transferrable skills as he still appears not to know how to open our dishwasher door.

Joking apart, I am bursting with pride and most definitely love for my wonderful blue-eyed boy.  Please God continue to keep him safe, healthy and happy for the next 21 years.